Ex-teacher admits to sexual contact

FREEHOLD: A Matawan resident and former science teacher at Monroe Township High School in Middlesex County pleaded guilty Thursday to having sexual contact with a 17-year-old former student, the Monmouth County Prosecutor's Office said.

Claude Thouret III, 26, pleaded guilty to criminal sexual contact, a fourth-degree crime. Under the terms of the plea agreement, the Prosecutor's Office will recommend a probationary term and require that Thouret give up his teacher's license and register as a sex offender under Megan's Law.

Thouret was originally charged with sexual assault, a second-degree crime that carries a possible 10-year state prison term.

The incidents involving the student, whose name has not been released, took place at the Matawan home that Thouret shared with his parents between February and March. Thouret was the girl's chemistry teacher at the high school.

Thouret will be sentenced before state Superior Court Judge Bette E. Uhrmacher on March 3. The Matawan police and Prosecutor's Office investigated the case.

On The Banks Of The Old Raritan

Whatcha talking ‘bout fool? Do try to get in no contests with ‘da Scarlett Knight. He’s a damn knight fa Christ sakes! He’s on a horse that could trample your stupid lil “Sun Devil” and prance around on his brains and then he could run you through with his lance. You’d be lucky to die by the lance of the Scarlet Knight. And guess what, there’s a little Scarlet Knight in all of us graduates just waiting to prance around on your feeble ass Arizona Sun Devil brains. Word up to all my niggaz in Campbell!

I Did Take Drugs!!!!

Oh and baby these were sweet, Belladonna Alkali and Darvocet (one of the ocet family of drugs.) Some may remember my old friend Percocet who convinced me to run barefoot through broken glass in order to find the moon which I was very certain had been swallowed.
So I figured why wait for a rave when we can just get good drugs and good times at Scottsdale Healthcare Hospital (my favorite.) Also, my food poisoning had gotten worse, not better. The hospital was a pretty good time. I was deeply engrossed in a Yu-Gi-Oh episode on my IPOD and practically freaked out every time some service professional attempted to ease my blinding pains. All in all it was a quick (4 hour) easy trip through the ER where for a couple hundred bucks I got some drugs, peace of mind and now I know the secret of the legendary dragons (do you?)

I slept all weekend but I am functioning today. There was some serious nausea earlier but I think it was more from the Rod Stewart “You’re so far way” muzak then from any physical affliction.

Gotta Love Kerry and Rob (or else they'll sue you!)

By popular request here is a picture with the Divine Goddess Kerry. The other guy in the pics is some homeless guy Kerry took pity on. If you look real closely...is it? It is! The Spy House pier!!! Damn that place is still awesome.

I’m Going To A Rave!!!

Yes it is true, after almost 5 years of dance celibacy, this Saturday I am finally going to a rave. I’ve never heard of any of the DJ’s but hey, I’m a fast learner. Also, it’s at the Icehouse which is a really cool venue and last time I was there my spectacular Alice in Wonderland costume made the papes (y’ getcha picture in the papes, y’famous!) Especially if by the papes you mean this one random gay magazine. Anyway, it should be a good time especially if my companion(s) can appreciate the vibe and the music and not be consumed by the drugs (ecstasy broke my brain.) At least I can be the designated driver.

Poison Sucks!!!

No, I would never denounce the awesome hair band from the 80’s, when I’m taking poison, I mean the real deal. In this case, we’re talking food poisoning. Now there are some times in your life when you can look back at something you’ve done and be like “Oh my God I am so stupid!” This is one of those times. I am new to eating fish - after being a hardcore vegetarian for 8 years I decided to add fish back in my diet thanks to my favorite Iron Chef. Well I tried sushi and let me tell you it is fantastic! I was really surprised at how much I loved it and really craved it. You know what else surprised me? How much it cost! Holy crap sushi is very, very expensive. What’s a girl to do? Well I found out that Trader Joe’s sells their own sushi and get this, it is roughly 1/6 the price of RA. Wow what a deal, discount sushi? Sounds delicious! Now I am sure that RA is overpriced, but I am also sure they deliver a quality product. As for Trader Joe’s…It started with dizzy spells (which led to panic because I couldn’t and at the time this was written still can’t find my phone.) I decided sleep was the best thing to do. I should have known that I was poisoned because my dreams were so vivid and colorful. When I awoke it was 4am and I was in pain! I swear, my organs were twisting and moving around. Now since I already have one foot in the grave, my parents were pretty adamant that I go to the hospital. My poor mother even threw up over the whole ordeal. I managed to avoid the hospital pointing out that my doctor knew me better and could probably help easier then strangers. In his usual, relaxed joking manner Dr. Johnson was like “Well, at least you didn’t pay a lot for this illness. How bad would it have been if you went to Zen 32? (expensive sushi bar.)” We laughed, talked about how it felt like there were a couple of moles trapped inside me and they were alternately crawling around my guts and then burrowing in a spot they liked. Let me tell you folks, food poisoning is definitely the weirdest feeling disease and I have a really mild case. Will it stop me from eating sushi? No way, that shit is too good!

The Most Horrific Sacrilege (too horrible for Chapter Black)

Let’s talk about Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here,” an irreverent song to be sure but the most soulful expression of loneliness and the desperation that comes from forced separation from a loved one. From the first haunting notes, guitar piercing the silence your mood is changed for you, resistance is futile. The evocative melody alternately lifts your heart with hope then dives deep into grief. The haunting refrain then crushes your heart as if a fist had pierced your chest and was forcibly squeezing your life away. This is the deeper essence of music, that ability to truly express a thought or feeling so universally that it is understood in every breath, every word, every beat, every chord.
I was at my second job the other day and happily listening to my new IPOD (Which I have named “Chapter Black” (which refers to a video mix of sorts illustrating the darkness and pure evil of the human soul.)) So I just uploaded everything in my computer and hit “shuffle.” Mind you, I just plugged my computer in last week for the first time since March so I have absolutely no idea what is going to come on. I am pleasantly surprised, starting out with Frou Frou, moving to Sneaker Pimps, then Our Lady Peace’s “Life.” Now “Life” is one of those songs that makes you reflect hard on your life. I was engaged in such musings when the tune came to an end. Next I heard those unmistakable opening notes that could only be “Wish You Were Here.” I was surprised to hear a different voice start singing, but hey I appreciate a good cover.
This song was and forever will be my song with Chris my best friend from waning high school days. He introduced me to it and it became his anthem as the path he went down was one I could not follow. When someone you love with your whole heart is out of reach, it creates this endless chasm inside, this desperate yearning that is so succinctly captured in “Wish You Were Here.” So the song is playing in my IPOD and everything in my view disappears and I pull into the song. I start thinking about Chris of course, but I also let my thoughts travel to another loved one who I have been fiending for like a junkie needs heroin. I was just lost in the complete bliss that blinding pain, sheer regret and personal torture can bring. A sort of elevation happens when you’re down so low in a pit - knowing what you want and who you love will always be out of your reach. I was wrapped in the arms of a sweet agony/ecstasy when all the sudden I was riveted back to awareness. The lyrics to the songs were changed. More then that, they were unspeakably HORRIBLE!!! The whole song is a desperate yearning for a loved one who is forever out of reach. In this, Limp Bizkit version, the fucking missing loved one shows up! I swear to God, they show up and it had a goddamned happy ending! I swear to you I could not make this up. There are so many disgusting things about humanity. Hell, that’s where Chapter Black got it’s name, but this is just an unforgivable perversion. At this moment, I felt a piece of myself die. I swear a lot of bad things have happened to me and I never, ever say that but this really did it. Fight Club teaches us that losing all hope is freedom. That’s what I was feeling – completely and utterly lost in the face of a situation where I am truly powerless. Acceptance of this utter disillusionment and the fact that I completely failed these two that I loved and who loved me greater then I deserved. With the melancholy twang of the guitar I felt all possibility fade into nothingness. This song always brings me here. Truly it is liberating. You become totally beaten and defeated. Having no more moves, you aren’t pressured with choices or consequences. There is no need for worry, trying, second guessing. You are finally free. Losing all hope is freedom.
So I am finally free, and then this stupid ass cover brings back their person who is out of reach and shoves it in your face. THEN this person goes and brings a comfort that you know you’re never going to feel. Listening to this shit makes you feel dizzy, nauseas, disoriented. Pain, loss, weakness, cowardice, these are all things we can understand and accept. Then they try to take this away from you by raising the bar to an unrealistic standard. “Oh, I didn’t fuck up as much as you because my loved one came back and yours never will.” Fuck your loved one and fuck you Limp Bizkit. You fucking suck. Obviously you didn’t get the point of that song and clearly you never will. Also I hope your tour bus crashes and you all die but no one burns your bodies and as your loved ones are mourning for you, they play your shitty ass cover of “Wish you were here” and like your version of the song says the loved one (you) really does fucking show up except this time you’re zombies and you eat all their stupid brains. Then real Floyd fans find out that you’re eating brains and douse you with gasoline and light you on fire and you and your loved ones die like one. That is the only justice.

These are the horrific lyrics (proceed with caution.)
Wish You Were Here (I wish they wouldn’t call it that)
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from hell
Blues skies from pain
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail
A smile from a vail
Do you think you can tell
So, do you think we can change
Everybody that hates
Before it's too late
So proud to be free
But who can we blame
Don't be ashamed
Do you think we can change
How I wish
How I wish you were here
We're one lost soul swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground
What have we found
The same old fears
Wish you were here
We don't need
Need anymore pain
We just need to remain on the very same page
So much to gain
No more losing a friend
We're losing ourselves
We just need your help
So glad you're here
So glad you're here

My Friend Fera

So I give Tony a friendly call (back during that brief period where I thought it was somehow OK to give Tony friendly calls) “Hi! How was your Thanksgiving?” “Jen, we need to talk.” “Sure, you want to call me after work?” “No it needs to be in person.” “Did I do something wrong?” “No.” “Are you Ok?” “Not really.” “Tony, you’re scaring me.” “There is nothing I can say that’s going to make you less scared.”
So, you see I was scared. I mean I was really scared. I was a lunatic waiting for that talk. The afternoon of the talk I couldn’t keep it together at work so I left early. I decided to stop at the dollar store and pick up some sundries. Sitting there in a giant bin was the answer to my prayers! A burgundy stuffed bear with a squished up face. It was love at first sight and for just $1!!! I brought her home and she really gave me the comfort and courage I needed. Having her with me allowed me to smile when I wanted to cry, laugh when I wanted to smile and stopped me from smashing all the goddamn clocks that Tony is always checking when he’s with me because we all know he has someplace better that he’d rather be at.
Fuck it, I got a new companion. I shortly thereafter entered my “Richie” phase of being and I wanted to name my new bear to represent the uncultivated, undomesticated, wild part of me. I decided on Feral, lost the “L” and hence “Fera” was born. Fera is great, too. She comes with me in the car, she loves cartoons and Radio Disney. She pretty much hates all humans and squishes up her little face with disgust when I tell her about my days and the people in them. Remember folks, thanks to my asthma they took all my stuffed animals away when I was a kid. Maybe I’m just making up for lost time. Equally likely, maybe Fera just kicks ass.

Mokuba is Kidnapped Part II

You know, I realized something. When you think you are going to die, who you are as a person changes. Your philosophies change, your values completely change and hopefully you can make peace before you die. Mokuba has sat there in a cell racing through these concepts. I think maybe one of the reasons he is such an amazing character is because he gets kidnapped all the time, and he constantly needs to make peace with himself and his choices. He needs to live a life with no regrets. I bet he does too. He puts his heart and his all into everything he does, so even if he fails he can have no regrets because he knows inside that he gave it all he had. Live, my Mokie. Live free, try hard, fail, then try again. Give it all you’ve got and keep racing forward, and regret will never trip you up. Don’t let regret be that albatross around your neck that keeps you from breathing, stops you from achieving. Regret, the one weight in your chest that keeps you from loving your life, that keeps you from loving yourself. When you constantly look back at the choices you made, those moments, when you could have been, should have been, I don’t know - better. The moments when you failed yourself. Regret holds you back and it holds you down. That is not your path Mokie. Even when you are captured you are free.