Mate For Life

Let’s use that in the Australian “mate” as in friend, because if we are talking about a husband or permanent boyfriend, we all know I can’t hold onto those for shit. But as far as friends go, I mate for life. It is amazing to me. Today I pulled up the prison record for my old friend Chris. Now most of you know that Chris fell on some hard times, made some bad decisions and landed himself in jail. I was watching “Walk the Line” last night and seeing Johnny Cash battling addition and all I could think of was “Does Chris still know I love him?” I do, as much as ever. That’s 12 years since I first picked him up as a hitchhiker. Best pal Joe Tapp and I are also going on 12 years. 12 years since he tried desperately to get past a huge bouncer by using a non-picture MAC (ATM) card as a form of ID. Mike Matassa and Rob Wichowski are next. Met them both in Chuck E Cheese, best buds to my paramour John Fisher. Guys, that’s 11 years and I think the world of both of you. The next lifer I met was my big brother Hiten. That was spring of 97 when I hero worshiped this guy named “Ethan” everyone was talking about. I still kind idolize him and have for 9 years. One year later I met my little Michelle, again through the fraternity. We weren’t a smooth match and it took us a while to work out the bugs. She and I have lasted 8 years and still going strong. And now for the star on the top of the tree…none other then lil miss Tricia Arnseth! I knew her sister and noticed her on her first day of high school. I stopped to ask her how her day was going. I remember walking away thinking “That girl is my new best friend!” 13 years ago! She was my first real friend, everyone who came before were just losers and punks.
If there is one thing everyone who makes this list has in common it’s that they’re FUCKING AWESOME!!! Also guys I felt all warm and squishy writing this which means I love you all with my heart and soul.

You and Me, Mokie

So every time I end up in Best Buy or Gamestop, I always pick up a Yu-Gi-Oh game called “Capsule Monster Coliseum.” There is no description of the game, only that it is multiplayer and for PS2. Now I really don’t like Yu-Gi-Oh games that you have to play on a regular system, I stick exclusively to hand-helds. This for some reason repeatedly caught my interest. A week or so ago I ended up at Blockbuster and saw the game being sold used for $9.99. I immediately wanted it but short on funds declared out loud “who else is going to buy it? It’ll be here next time.” I got paid on Wed and sure enough Friday night I was back at Blockbuster, but this time to my painful dismay, the game had been bought.
Damn. I wanted that game.
Now for the fun part. As it turns out, the original season 1 Yu-Gi-Oh was not just a prequel to the current series, it was a complete retelling of the first season. It was a WHOLE LOT darker. This makes a lot of sense to me. As I think Yu-Gi-Oh the finest television program in existence, I can see how they might have tried and failed before their magnificent world-wide triumph.
So in our season 1, Yugi banishes the dark soul in Kaiba and the whole thing causes Kaiba to lose it and run off. Darling brother Mokuba tries to avenge his big bro with a stolen deck he grabs on the island of Duelist Kingdom. Yugi gives him a first class spanking and we basically assume the kid has no skills. In the original, Seto Kaiba is the champion of Duel Monsters and Mokuba Kaiba is a champion as well – of a little game we like to call CAPSULE MONSTER CHESS!!!! Yes that’s right! He is the master of this game and this is how he challenges Yugi! Now of course we all know my little Mokie still gets his ass handed to him, but in a very different, far more exciting way.
Thank you fate. If I had bought the game the first night and it stank (like I’m pretty sure it will) I would have just tossed it aside. Now I actually have that childlike excitement and will pay full price just to see what kind of game Kazuki Takahashi designed for my little Mokie.
Japanese little brothers rule!!!

6 Fucked Up Things About Me

I did this because Ted asked me and I don’t want to be duped into seeing a horror movie (I have nightmares.)



6 fucked up things about me:

1) I have the IQ of someone twice my age and the maturity of someone half my age. Do you know how hard it is to discuss the quantum physics principal of objective observer when the woman in front of you is eating a lollipop at the bar, wear glittery hair barrettes and a “Coney Island” t-shirt and referring to the condiments as “Dr. Pepper” and “Nurse Salt” and falls off her stool every time a Buell or a Ducatti drives by.

2) I am so gonna die young. I moved to Phoenix to protect myself from an asthma condition that gave me “25 years to live” back when I was 23. If that wasn’t enough, doctors were astounded that someone so young could develop Pancreatitis. More fun is my liver condition which won’t let my body hold onto fat. Thank goodness I have medicine that masks the problem.

3) I hate your family. Everyone has one cool relative I can appreciate. That’s usually my limit.

4) I can’t throw a rock without hitting some guy I don’t want to date. Look I have no idea when I became socially tolerable, but for the past few months every straight guy I pass has his eyes locked on my size Gs. Listen up guys, you know what turns me on? An original idea - try getting one.

5) I’ve been insane! Yeah I’m sure everyone has felt insane sometimes, but I’ve actually been there. From December 2004-May 2005 nearly 6 months where I could have robbed a bank and NOT gone to jail. Sure it was a crazy time for me, my loved ones took the united stand of yelling at me for months in hopes I would start making rational decisions again. I live my life deliberately now, watching my behavior each day to prevent a reoccurrence.

6) This one I would have never put, but I asked Joe so of course he’s going to pull the skeletons from my closet. “You don't like being physically alone so you will invite boys over just so you can get some and not be alone.” There is often more to it, but in essence that’s what it is.