Bright and Shining Eyes

If you pay attention to what goes on in my life, you'll realize that I'm right in the middle of a tornado - wildly throwing everything I want, need, have worked for and am working for all into these crazy, hectic situations.
Don't care.
Look into my eyes. I master as many challenges as I can and the rest I just let go. I am the eye of the storm, this is where I thrive. Twisting my hands into dance moves against the breaking current of the winds.
Last night I started feeling depressed. I was fighting and trying to force images into my head. What I landed on was a Picasso sculpture of Absynthe I saw in Philly. I imagined the green liquid pouring over the spoon and the colors were as vivid as when I first saw them. That is where the magic happens. Not in the sculpting or the displaying of the art, but in the perception, in the experience. Find someone with dull eyes. You know what they look like, their all around. Show them a brilliant sculpture and ask them what they see. I bet they'll think it's boring or stupid. Maybe their dull eyes just don't have the power to see what my eyes can see.
So lucky to be me.

A Self Called Nowhere

I'm 30 years old and I'm frickin' waiting for a damn ride. Reminds me of this song:
A Self Called Nowhere
I'm sitting on the curb
By the empty parking lot
Of the store where they let me play the organ
I'm waiting for my ride
But I want to wait inside
Of the store where they let me play the organ

But I'm thinking of a wooden chair
In a room at the top of a stair
And I'm looking down the stairwell
At the vanishing dot
On the map of the spot
Let me take you there
The dotted line
Surrounding the mind
Of a self called nowhere
It's a thing named "it"
In a bottomless pit
You can't see it there
The sunken head
That lies in the bed
Of a self called nowhere

Standing in my yard
Where they tore down the garage
To make room for the torn down garage
I'm looking for my car
But I must have sold my car
When I needed to buy an electric organ

But I'm thinking of a wooden chair
In a room at the top of a stair
And I'm looking down the stairwell
At the vanishing dot
On the map of the spot
Let me take you there
The dotted line
Surrounding the mind
Of a self called nowhere
It's a thing named "it"
In a bottomless pit
You can't see it there
The sunken head
That lies in the bed
Of a self called nowhere

Nowhere

Judy Cutie

I never thought she was ugly. Everyone used to say "Oh, she's so ugly she's cute." Well I always thought she was cute, and I called her "Judy Cutie" from the first time I picked her up. She was always so enthusiastic. She'd break into a run, fall down and flop around like a fish until she was able to pull herself up again and then she'd go straight back to running. She would wag her tail so hard it would shake her whole little body. I don't remember her ever not liking anyone.
Judy was a real princess. Check out the picture where she is asleep in the middle of Maggy's huge bed, and poor Maggy can just barely get her ass into Judy's bed! Since she was so small, Mommy carried her in her purse for a while. She even went to the Grand Canyon that way! One time I was in the kitchen cooking and all the dogs were in there stalking me and I needed something in a hurry and I barreled around and gave Judy a swift kick. My foot slid under her and lifted her off the ground and punted her a good two feet! I felt SO BAD about it, oh my god! I still feel bad about it. Judy didn't care much though, she was back on her feet and wagging her tail a minute later.
The bottom two pictures are from the final moments of Judy's life. You know if I could choose my end it would be exactly like that. Warm and safe, quietly drifting off to sleep surrounded by the loving voices and touches of all the people in my life that matter most. Being a Mc Ateer is forever Judy, you're never going to lose us and we're never going to lose you. I hope that final sleep is filled with Technicolor dreams. I know you know I love you.