POWER: part 2 - Calm

Calm. Only someone with true power could see calm for what it is: one of the greatest heights a human being can achieve. It seems so simple, quiet, gentle even; but it is truly a dynamic force, able to slow and stop even the most forceful momentum. It is it's own strain of power.

Calm, my antithesis. I actually had no idea what it was for most of my life. I was 22 and someone I trusted who was very against drugs told me to take Ecstasy. I was more then confused. She told me “Whatever it is in life that is missing, the key ingredient to making you happy – your first time on ecstasy will show that to you. After that it’s up to you to bring it into your life.” I listened and believed. She then went on to tell her own story of spiraling heights. I couldn’t wait, I thought I was going to soar! I dressed up all sexy and danced around and took this pill. My world did spiral, but not up, it went in. I sat on the ground to concentrate on this new feeling. Radiating from my heart was this soft, gentle profound feeling of peace. It took me over completely, my muscles started to relax, my mind emptied and for the first time in my life, I felt calm. Webster defines calm as a: free from agitation of mind or spirit b : free from disturbance or turmoil. Free. Calm is existence that has been liberated. No pressures, no shackles, no binds. Just breathe. Just believe.

To me calm is a form of happiness. It is the highest most elite form.

Breaking away from both worlds. I want to be strong and powerful, but I want to be calm and happy too. Haven’t you noticed that all the greatest heros are solitary? There’s a reason for that. How did Buffy manage amidst so many people? How was she still able to find her calm when she needed it?